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"Communication"
January 11, 2009
Here huddled together writing and exchanging information, exchanging . . . words and how many mean so many different things than their original intent. I listen intently to words. Anyone I've spoken with can attest to my undying attention to the words used to create the sentences that will be spoken. They would tell you to be careful! They may say, choose your words carefully, pause and think about your response before you speak. They would probably tell you that I've said to them that no question requires an immediate response and it's okay to say, "I'll like to think about that for a while."
We are too quick to response to the words that we seldom hear in there entirety simply because we've already within the first understanding (or belief thereof) of the point we're right there with an answer. An answer that one may believe afterward would have been spoken differently. People walk around with many walls, boundaries, perimeters and the first defense they seem to lose and the most costly in terms of consequence is active communication. This is broken down into two distinct areas, the art of active listening and the art of coherent, relevant speaking. The damage from this failure to communicate is always widespread and completely without prejudice in its retaliation.
Already loss from our inabilities to talk openly and honestly become more prominent each and every day. Relationships in business, personal and intimate suffer from this loss of communication, of speaking plainly and without malice. Newspapers, blogs, books, magazines all promote the misuse of communication in story-telling or many stories would never become news. Even the words now written are not immune to an attempt at coercing your perception of reality. All issues of miscommunication in all forms could be lessened if we took that extra minute to actively listen, pause or wait to respond. It seems that this is the best way to understand what people are saying and also give me the best opportunity to answer.
Try it! Take some time to listen. Do not be so quick to share your latest evening or Sally's new test score, school picture or play. Take pause before you share the newest sport's score, hunting venture, work or personal party. Listen to the person speaking to you. They may speak about the very same things you want to speak of but then neither in the end will hear anything and remember less. Speaking accounts for less than 10% of communication and of that percentage how many more points are lost to the inability to actively listen and answer?
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For too long I've messed with the wiring in my head. Now it shorts out more oft than not. But at my age I just sit and enjoy the sparks. RJM '07
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