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Toddlers and Puppies, Kids and Dogs have a lot in common. They are all easily capable of expressing in very simple terms when their world is not harmonious. Dogs, Puppies, Toddlers and Kids are also pack animals although in human terms we say family members. When you bring home your child there is no question in your mind that you are the parent, the family authority and that same attitude must transfer to your animals. I know this has been written before on some of the site pages but your dog is a pack animal and as such needs to understand their place in the "family" pack. When you first bring a canine into your home he/she will want to find their position in this new pack and will constantly test those boundaries. If you live alone, or in a house with older teens and adults the pack structure and leadership has been established this pack hierarchy should work well if the alpha leader does his/her job. Your dog is used to a very regimented social structure and will "test" his position in the pack from time to time. This is where dogs, puppies, toddlers and younger kids get into a bind. Your dog will note that these little humans are not pack leaders so will test their position in the pack with them. If you understand that your dog will do this until he/she completely understands their place in the pack it will make training for kids much easier.
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Everyone in the household is farther up on the pack hierarchy than your dog. This is significant when you think about all the little things that mean so much to your pet like walking, eating, playing and dominance and submission issues. In a pack it is the leader who is first. The Alpha is the first to eat, first to walk and first to protect or take responsibility for the safety of the pack. Any pack member who recognizes the strength of the alpha is more secure, abides well by the pack rules and has an overall better temperament. To your dog a child or toddler is not a threat. Many dogs are at the same height as their human pack counterparts. The dog may view your child as lower in the social order or may engage in play that although not rough for a dog can be exceedingly rough on your children. If your puppy feels like they are higher up in the social order it will give permission for the dog to discipline the child, not a good thing.
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Training your dog and your kids on proper pack etiquite is essential for safety. The result of proper family training is that your dog will view the kids as alpha pup's and know that they are far above him/her in the social hierarchy.
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On your kid's end teach them that your dog or puppy is not a toy and not something to be randomly picked at, hit or played with. I know this should go without saying but have a talk with your kids and let them know in words that they understand that a dog is a living creature and has emotions. That your dog can be hurt and feel hurt. That your dog can be angry and happy, that he/she has moods. They should know never to tease their dog because it may make the dog feel hurt and angry. Talk with them about how your puppy views the family. Tell them about how you are the pack leader and go down the ladder until you reach the rung where your pup resides. Let them know that you will teach them how to be good alpha pups.
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On your part which is in the training and your strength as an alpha your dog has to be taught the 'manners" needed to engage with the other pack members. The dog must know that it's not permitted to "mouth" (putting open mouth over a part of the body usually the arm or leg), cannot be allowed to "jump" (learning to train the command "off" is important here) and cannot ever be allowed to knock over and dominate. Just as you should protect your children from your pets you should also protect your pets from your children. Explain to your kids that like their rooms are their private space your dogs crate or bedding area is their private space and when in those spaces it's time out. Some important thoughts on crates: They are not forts for your kids to play in. They are not places to play with your pet. The crate is off limits except to you puppy.
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Play time between your pup and your kids should consist only of games that do not involve aggression or dominant play. A game of tug-of-war is a dominance game to dog's, To a kid it's just a game. Allowing letting your kids help teach the dog obedience and learning tricks are good ways for your kids to engage in play with the dog and a very good way of seeing that your kids have authority over them in the pack structure. In the mentality of the dog the game of tug-of-war has everything to do with proving power over another pack member and power equals dominance.
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Let your kids know its okay to watch when you are training something new they should only watch. Once you finish that training you can allow them to participate at first with your supervision, "under your eye" until your pet knows that the child is on a higher rung than they are, without dispute! Feeding the dog and other basic care should be done by all in the family to show your animal that all the human household members have authority over them. This is NOT to be taken as control. Being an alpha is NOT abusing a dog to become a submissive wreck perverting the phrase "pack leader."
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 For kids and toddlers outside the "pack" it's all about you, the Alpha. Now this is what I do when someone, child or adult wants to meet Duma. Duma must first do "something" for them to establish that for this moment the dog is submitting for a reward that in getting petted or paid attention too. You can do this as well when your dog is trained in such a way but it's all under your direct supervision for restraint or other anxious moments and always under full control of the equipment and the animal. Children that will be staying in the home where you and your dog live have to have proper introductions. They should be advised of the house rules and never left unattended without an "Alpha" monitoring closely. Dogs have instinctual habits just like we do. However they do not have the capacity for that level of thought that takes control away from instinctual impulse. You never know when "something" will happen so assume if you will "anything" can and be right on top of your Alpha game when it comes to children and toddlers. Dogs do not "mean" to do anything in their play. Dogs and Puppies just have a different view of play. To a dog it's learning and fine-tuning centuries of instinct. To we of 'rational' minds its just play.
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With the untrained puppy or dog dealing with kids is the same as above reminding you that you must be fully capable of doing what is above and that your pet knows who is the Alpha in the pack structure and their answer had also better be you. Initially keep a distance and allow your dog to become comfortable (you being also comfortable) with the child approaching. This gives your animal time to "sniff" the surroundings so to speak and sense the "air." This takes less time than it did to write. You approach with your dog and be very aware of how your dog postures. It's important to remember it's all about you and how you feel. Dogs are extremely sensitive to the leaders actions. If the leader of the pack is agitated then other pack members know to stay away, If the pack leader is uncomfortable in a surrounding the members will become uncomfortable as well. So, if you are in a bad mood chances are your dog knows this and his response might be different. If you are anxious or worried or unsure of your "role" your pet already put this all together whether or not you've put the puzzle together.
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For too long I've messed with the wiring in my head. Now it shorts out more oft than not. But at my age I just sit and enjoy the sparks. RJM '07
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